Things To Do When You Just Feel "Off"
Sometimes I have days when I just don’t feel like myself. I feel ‘off.’ In high school I remembering not feeling myself after me and my boyfriend broke up. I don’t feel myself around the anniversary of when something bad happened the year earlier. Sometimes I feel off and I can’t figure out why. When I get in this mood it’s easy for me to drop everything and not do anything productive. It’s completely normal to have a few days like these, as long as it’s not consistent and debilitating.
How can you tell if you’re feeling off?
I can tell I feel off when stop doing the things that I love. For you it may look like spending more money on retail therapy or having trouble staying present around your friends. You may be eating poorly or don’t text your friends back. Feeling off for an extended period of time—like months—can really wreak havoc on your confidence. It’s important to take positive steps to getting out of this confusing headspace.
Know that everyone has days when they feel off. It even has a definition on Urban Dictionary: Not really in the mood. Feeling different in a way. Set yourself apart—listen to your body. Your body is great at showing you how you feel. If it’s trying to tell you that something is not right, it probably isn’t. This lady knew she was feeling off when she put her cereal and her coffee mug!
So feeling off comes down to making yourself feel in the mood again. In the mood to do your regular routine or in the mood to talk to friends, etc. In order to get through this it’s important to practice emotional intelligence. First, acknowledge how you feel. Justin Bariso, an entrepreneur and a writer on Inc.com, says that, “by acknowledging, accepting, and working through your feelings, you can learn to turn ‘emotional’ into ‘emotionally intelligent.’” It’s about practicing self awareness and recognizing the emotion so that it doesn’t become a reoccurring issue. Second, sit with how you feel. Turn off technology and just sit with yourself. Find a comfy chair or go to your safe space and be there in silence. It’s good to feel and sit with yourself. Third, when you’re ready, take action. A lot of people don’t do this third step, or even the second or first. The third step is most important because it is what you can do to take control of the situation and yourself. Here’s our list of what you can do on your own, for yourself, right now.
Take a walk
Put your phone on airplane mode, download some songs or a good podcast, or just leave your phone at home and walk. Don’t set a goal, just go wherever you feel. Do it at a time where you don’t have any commitments and won’t need to stress about the time. Take a friend with you if you want to talk. You can bounce ideas off of each other and connect more (especially if you don’t bring your phones!).
Meditate
Breathing exercises and meditation is a great way to feel better. There are a bunch of amazing videos for meditation on Youtube for whatever you want help with. Try looking up “meditations for focus” or “meditations for relationships” or “meditations for relaxing.” We have a whole list here too! You could also try and app like Headspace, which has won so many awards and has millions of subscribers/month. Some meditations will feel better to you than others. Like everything, it’s not a one-fits-all situation. Try out some on Youtube, see how you feel, and try out others as necessary. If you decide you want something to help guide you try out Headspace. Focus on your breath and being in the moment. We promise you that you will feel fantastic after. https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=9&v=l3nIKaHJ9P4.
Write it out, talk about it, tell someone.
Get a journal or write in your notes. Write everything you’re thinking and feeling. Sit with your feelings and try to understand the root of the issue. Writing helps release mental blocks and hurtful feelings you may have. Saying something out loud or on paper makes the feeling seem more real and can help you stop worrying. Talking about it also diffuses the situation. In Kanye’s interview with Jimmy Kimmel he talks about going through problems and how acknowledging them saying them out loud gets rid of the problem completely.
Give yourself a “you” night.
Draw a bath with epsom salts, essential oils, and/or a bath bomb, like this routine. Turn on some calming music, and light a candle or use your diffuser. Moisturize. Throw on some PJs that make you feel good. Read a book in your favorite chair. Throw on a movie you’ve been wanting to watch. Stretch out (you have the whole space to yourself!). Diane Von Furstenberg, the infamous creator of the colorful wrap dress, says, “When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier.” Give yourself time with yourself like you give other people your time. Why wait for someone else to take care of your needs? Not to mention, people will be amazed that you can spend time with yourself and be perfectly content. Be an inspiration for others. It can be nice to be off the scene for a night and people will wonder how you spent your time. Staying in and being disconnected is cool.
Plan a movie night with your best friends.
Ask your best friend’s to come over. Watch your favorite movies over your favorite snacks. It can help you feel more support and give you a chance to talk about anything you want to when you’re chocolate-wasted. Pick a comfortable place to watch the movie where you won’t feel strain on your body/neck and can relax. You could try setting up beds/sleeping bags on the floor in front of a TV/laptop. You can also get creative and set up a movie outdoors with chairs, warm blankets, and project the movie on a screen. Start early so you finish the movie and fall asleep in bed without technology. Tip: establish a no-phone rule. You’ll feel extra support because your friends are there for you and you only.
Change Your Scenery
Maybe you’ve just been in the same place for too long. Ask a parent if you could do an overnight with them in another town or city. Take the train to your aunt’s house and spend the weekend. Drive to the next closest city for the day and check out the museums, library, or a new lunch spot. Go alone or bring a friend/family member if you want! Changing your scenery is one of the best things for the mind and gives you a really fun experience to share when you get back. It also deepens the relationship you have with yourself.
Go out of your comfort zone.
So, you’ve always been scared of snakes. Go to a place where you can hold a snake. Or you are nervous about being alone. Turn off your technology for a day and spend your time walking around town, go to a nice dinner by yourself, and bring a book or magazine with you. Going out of your comfort zone keeps your mind focused on that activity for the day and can help you realize more things that you appreciate about yourself like the fact that you can be alone and have a great day.
“Life always begins with one step outside of your comfort zone.”
― Shannon L. Alder, author
Give yourself a goal
Is there something you’ve always wanted to do? Here at Mavoure we’ve held ourselves to reading a chapter of a book a day. It’s something we always said we have no time for but we just had to hold ourselves to the goal. Since we found a good book it’s been a breeze to get through. This could apply to anything you want to pick up. Some other goals you could give yourself: run a 6 minute mile, make every Tuesday night at ‘you’ night, meet someone new every day, and/or call someone once a week that you haven’t talked to in a while.
Overall, it’s really important that you give yourself the time and care you need to feel better. Don’t let your parents or people who think they know everything tell you that you’re exaggerating your problems. Girls are under more pressure than ever these days. You may feel the need to have perfect grades, be a good athlete, multi-talented, deal with every day school drama, and can be expected to hold a job too. It’s a lot to handle at a young age and we need to give ourselves the attention. Why wait for someone else to give you the attention you deserve? If your “off” feeling doesn’t go away after a couple months take control and go to a therapist or see a doctor to have your vitamin and hormone levels checked. We hope you feel your best soon. xx
